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Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. GeeI sure hope it wasn't poisonous. How discouraging. I am back. Just make sure you "spray" your food first. See? Good. Seeya! does not, has never, and will absolutly NOT admit to having any weaknessbesides the aformention indivduals own skin, which isn't even a weakness anyway since no representative of the Dark, Fluffier Side can BE the Patron Saint of Paperclips (Guess, whononoTHAT'S IT!) Today's rant is a panic rant. It really lets me get to know you. He always enjoyed it because it meant that somewhere, he was the Supreme Dictator of the Galaxy. TAB members got pizzalots of pizzaand candy. My favorite stuffJTHMI have my libraries copy of JTHMI shall quote Noodle Boy for you:) (Full copyright/credit to Jonhnen Vasquez for writin' the stuff, I'm just sharing the spleeny goodness with you). I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) Oh, well. thats iti so tiredbye-bye. Unfortuantly, we had already driven 337 miles toward our destination. Or maybe it's notI meanwon't the quality *snicker* of my work deteriorate if I am no longer writing for the target audience of me? is it the word be found in the 17th, and 18th letters? I just can't seem to stop, though. You say it didn't let you out? And "Mr. Owl" replies "OneTwooThree! It's about the (supposedly) infinite nature of the universe. Do not MOCK me! I think mine involved a jaunty song to sing. Not that my mother is annoyingjust set in her ways. I have three very hard academic classes. I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. But, you should know that, since you like reading. Jonathan Coes The Rotters Clubends with a 33-page long whopper with 13,955 words in it. Just like everyone else in my family. Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die. No suprise. I'm gonna launch THE OFFICIAL FLAMING CHICKENS LUNAR COLONY! :) Seeya! Pikachu! He acted like he was really being tortured and stuff. There MUST be some sort of conspiracy involved, 'cause if there is, I can get rid of the EVIL thing! Yesthat's rightsuicide. "Purified" water. I found at that yet another one of my friends is reading this. Goodbye for nowNow I'm back. * IT'S NOT FAIR! You exploud. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. I bet you wanna go eat some Ketchup covered Dum-B Gon right now, while watching "reality" TV. Either way, I'm here. I'm back. I would have sold the monkey and the organ and been able to eat for at least a year. What does it sound like? RANDOM PERSON: You don't say? Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. that was recognised in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records was the longest ever written. Yep that's right. Just goes to show what boredom can do to you. I, being weird, am pretty much immune to such expectations. isnt paying attention. Remember that rant I did on how there could be a secret camera in the smoke detector? If you don't understand the concept of numbers less than zero, (negative numbers) just skip this part. You would be correct in your suspiciousnessfor Mooses arch-enemy is*dramatic drumroll*a small, white, feather. GrrrrI had a nifty rant all planned out in my head. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. I'm sorry that today's rant isn't random, insane or completely chaotic, but I must right my experience with The Matrix before I forget. You don't see them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. You're only browsing it. Sometimes I crack myself up. (To this day, however, I will almost literally kill for a box of Cheez-It party mix, as it is a rare commodity at my house.) Okay, I'm done with that litte commercial. I'm going. Oh, and don't forget to celebrate Mad Hatter Day on October the 6th. Because there are an infinite number of people on either side of the spectrum. The world may never know. There is a world where you are a faerie. *cough*She's winning*cough* But that's just because I have so much to do to mantain and update this site, I rarely get a chance to just sit here and type. theni got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. Yes, that's right. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips (me again!) I mean, I KNOW people are coming hereI have proof! Can a senile person write? She didn't think it was weird, either. Of course, you won't want to do that becuase you still need more earrings so people won't think you wear the same ones over and over again. I thought you were gonna stay here and keep me company?! Then he preceeded to trash my room, scattering kleenex everywhere. Keep pressing it. Not only that, but It also displays the longest sentence used in the text and the number of characters and words in the sentences. So he probably didn't see the majority of my site. Alrighty then. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? Good-bye. We eventually reached our destination after 16 hours of virtually non-stop driving. Don't worry, I'll go to bed soon. Insane, chaotichmmmmmI wonder who thought of it? You must be caught in a time warp. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. Now, don't get me wrong. That's talent. Sad to admit, but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself. API tools faq. As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! Too bad. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. Since I have a rather weird phobia of touching my own skinthis made my evening my own personall torture session. RISE UP AND BARE YOUR BISCUIT FILTY FANGS AT THE LEASH WIELDING DEMON!! Yea*waits for applause* okay! After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. I mean, who'd a thought? Or suffer my blindingly moronic nail messages. CHECK OUT MY ARMPITS!!! Oh, but I did remember what else I wanted to say to you people. 8 min ago That just sounds nifty! (Believe me, though, you never want to see me driveI get easily distracted by clouds and signs saying FREE KITTIES!kitties are hugablebut if you hug themthey'll scratch your eyes outso then you have to hiss at them and establish dominencebut kitties don't like thateven though dogs dobut kitties are obviously not dogseven though they are fuzzy.) I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. That's why I like fast-food salt. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. I gives you imaginary IOU'shereyours. Still no? You seeknowledge is good. Where is the logic in this? Nowjust stop a second and contemplate that. Perhaps their just trying to be nice. I think. While. Chomp" And he bites it. Subscribe!function(m,a,i,l,s,t,e,r){m[s]=m[s]||(function(){t=a.createElement(i);r=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];t.async=1;t.src=l;r.parentNode.insertBefore(t,r);return !0}())}(window,document,'script','https://www.openculture.com/wp-content/plugins/mailster/assets/js/button.min.js','MailsterSubscribe'); 2006-2023 Open Culture, LLC. It was down for a whole day or so 'cause of all the traffic I got from my new quizes. No, really. Then you'll need an "extra" pairfor special occasions. And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. *pauses* Oh. It must have cost a fortune to feednot to mention the mess. And then the quality will rise. I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. The very next day, she decided that we were going north, after all. In otherwords, she's a small yappy dog who is big for her breed. He then leaves them under his owners car. You complete me in all ways. No? But does anyone test "pure" water? HILARIOUS! After all, you're a responsible, intelligent person who apparently has a lot of time on your hands. You feel very, very honored. 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Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. RANDOM PERSON: *head explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see, I was a very weird child (this happened in elementary schooluhexcept for that head-explouding part). It was fun, but exhausting. I know, you were just crushed that nothing new was happening. Random people will think they've gone crazy, after a seemingly innocent visit to the zoo. Just like all those reports people have to do. At least her's makes sensesort of. She goes crazy if someone holds it, 'cause it's getting attention and not her. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. And then I was unable to get on the computer and I forgot most of it. Seeya. Sowhen the weekend rolls around, I'm fairly exhausted. Hey, by the way. William Faulkner in 1954 (Photo: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain)This post may contain affiliate links. I'm leaving nowI have some destruction to do. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. Oh, speaking of insane, I STILL need those much needed supplies for the Official Flaming-Chickens Lunar Colony! We slept. (*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? But, my stupid internal alarm clock is starting to wake me up around six. HOW ARE YOU DOING? You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. I probably won't later. When is it MYturn? (on accident, vast number of times) Hee-Hee! Lots of gooey talent. There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket chirps, someone coughs* fans. Thank you Squirell. No one is really coming here, anyway. I'm back! It was uncomfortable in the back, it was too hot, it was too cold. Two and a half hours of homework (total) to be precise. You cannot judge them simply because they have no apparant function. i am tiredbut cannot go to sleep. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). All the good possibilities effectivly cancel out the bad ones, leaving the sum total of you and your counterparts experiences as nothing. Then it must diepainfully. Think about it. Hmmmmgood question. These people have obviously suffered major brain damage from their prolonged exposure to the sun. Making me(The Patron Saint of Paperclips) the Ruler of the Laws of Nature! Let's seewhat have I ranted about before, subliminal messages, vast breakfast cereal conspiracies, water, uhreality tv? I know a topic! How did you ever guess? Why can't I have more readers?! Why are you afraid of little ol' me? This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe peoplenow that has possibilities. and eat dinner. What if, eventually, Earth's gravity get's very very strong, and we all imploud from the squishyness? This is specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook. That's right, a sword! If you're awake to hear it, chances are that you've already noticed the smoke, fire and eminent danger. Hi, I'm back. I know where you are right now! I'm pretty sure that the "smelly yellow ball" that he started throwing was his own feces (poo). But they really were'nt buffoal wings 'cause buffalo's don't have wingscause they come off when they are babies, JOsh says so and he must be right causse he's been having Profound Thoughts even though he cannot remember them. ", and translated it to German. If you can sleep through a raging fire, close enough to set off the smoke detector, then you are definitly going to sleep through the smoke detector. The PSOA have been whole-heartedly working for you, and what have you done for them? I am simply explaining why I, personally, refuse to swim, go to the beach, sunbathe, leave the house, etc. It does all my Math for me. He snuck up on me one day in our room (in the game) with a sword! In any case, I hope you enjoyed our patheticness. I get home from work at 5:30p.m. It's the sequel to the movie that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.You guys probably think that that is the worlds longest sentence, but it's not,because I just keep on adding commas, and it's pretty easy, if you think about it, so anyway there is this girl at school and she's my friend, and all but she's turning . Humor the crazy person, okay? > You have blue hari..*gigles* I like hair. If the universe is infinite it would be crazy to think that we're alone. Are you tired. Would they dry into raisins? There is a world where you are a slave to your TOASTER OVEN. How do you stop them? The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. Here goes. Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote. But, believe me, it's MUCH more practical than the alternative. It's called Hit-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. It sucked. Unless, of course, the government was smart enough to have cameras without the blinkie light. It takes patience to read, but once you get into the rhythm, its like delving into Faulkners stream of consciousness. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the. I bet you couldn't tell. And so I'm in deep doo-doo. I'm bored. And he knew so many stories that sometimes he stopped the story-teller and finished the story himself. And not so pissed at my weird family. HA! A post shared by Worlds Best Story (@worldsbeststory). Just how much time do they have on their hands. To prevent this, I did nothing. you will all suffer as i have suffered when and if you graduate. *sigh* *sniffle* *snort* *insert word that is a sound that begins with an "s" here* I don't have much time, so, I must be brief. That's funny!!!! And I sugest that we build the rocket so that we can go to the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony so that we can laugh at the stupid earthlings who are blowing up because they didn't listen to us when we tried to warn them about the impending doom! I'm gonna quit for now. What's that. Men, of course, had no complaints. Now who's the crazy one? To pour your heart and soul into a passage, and have everyone ignore it. I can't remember what. Want to advertise with us? Now I have a purpose in life! This resourceful young vanguard of fasion decided to cover her extreme embarassment by acting like she meant to horribly damage herself. Next thing you know, you're internet connection will die. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. Okay, if you want to get out, click the little refresh button, okay? Maybe fact check before coming up with such blatant lies. That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Wellnow that I think about itaccording to my theory, ALL conspiracies are real and mislabled "paranoid" people are really the only ones who see the truth. I am writing to let you know that I have received an email from {name of recipient}. I even impress myself. No matter how unlikely something is, if the universe is infinite, it's happening an infinite number of times. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. Now, Moose has seen many feathers, birds even. Perhaps my family is just so weird, we've lost all sense of perspective. In school, back before I even owned a computer, I'd type random words for long periods of time, 'cause I had nothing better to do. I have readers. I was alerted to this growing problem in our world community by (Kat, the ruler of all that is almondy)and it greatly concerns me. Sure, my TEACHER said that was because I was doing the problems wrong, but once I'm the Ruler of the Laws of Nature, I'll change the problems so that I'm right! Teens Against Cartoon Owls. It'd be cool. Back to the original topic! That would explain that annoying green little blinkie light in them. I feel like I should be outraged about some topic or another. You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! And any weirdness I could come up with would be normal compared to Noodle Boy, soI bid thee farewellseeya! I love-d you moose! That's right, I wanna sleep. (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" Pathetic, wasn't it? You CANNOT DENY it! One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it notetc, etc. VisitMy Modern Met Media. I want an elective. Most likely they test it BEFORE they add the extra stuff"Yep, Bob, this is some mighty pure water." Maybe she just doesn't like goat-smell. For more information, e-mail EnpuUnknown@msn.com Wellseeya! Which is what I do best. It's a worthy cause! Ya know ya got ya ya girl ya ya know ya ya boy you got caught with them and then ya got a robot in the car with a car in your head that was the best dog ever and you can call me and call him when I wanna is it time I get off work I will see if I gotta I wanna is a time I got a ride truck truck ride and iiiuuyr. If you're asleep, the fire will wake you. For all you, the uninformed consumer, could know, it might have rat poison in it. Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north, we were going south to a beach resort. *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! But my idiotic body has an automatic alarm clock, or something. Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. Please find all options here. Oh, yeah! The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. So, that leads us to the evil paranoid conspiracy I thought of the other night. But without the bad sound track. It was fun. What I want to know is this: are there no intelectual property rights in the world of food products? So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. Are you happy? Now THAT'S just weird. i broke the world record. If you're following along, and not completly confused, you'll realize that it is better to be a pessimist than an optomist. Speaking of animals, there's a cat in California who is a kleptomaniac (likes to steal stuff). Needless to say, we ignored her. I must really be desperate for something to do. I thought of another very good reason to assist with the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony! Sodoesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). afterwardsthey turned off the lights. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. I don't have much of a choice about the whole work thing. I just don't know. So rather than battle her over the concept of getting dressed in the dark, I get up. Nowadays, postmodern fiction writers such as John Barth are still influenced by Faulkners run-on technique. And I can't think of anything else to do. It only takes a little light to help those thingies, and smoke detectors provide more than a little. Or maybe the Energizer Bunny. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I'm leavin', for now. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. I feel special. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. I'm back. We had to tell him that he would probley have to wait untill he was 21. My family has always bought Cheez-Its, to the point of making me physically sick at the thought of eating one. Even though it gains pleasure from squishing my spine. Okay, maybe it was the ranch dressing instead of the special, fresh buffalo wings. paste . Space is notorious for not having air. I need to find a topic. Pastebin.com is the number one paste tool since 2002. The first part of the trip was fairly easy. No. It doesn't. And because she was the head fasion bimbo, everyone agreed that the look was definitly "in". e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. If that happens, then no one will read this. Help me! But now I realize that I am considerably more normal than the rest of my family. Maybe I should just give up. Yes, it goes on and on my friend. Unless you're bored. Now you may be wondering what horrible beast is Moose's arch-enemy. Seeya. Sure, certain members of my family do pay WAY to much attention to fasion, but that's just because of the expectations of society. Confusing, huh? To compound the EVIL situationI was forced to wear feminine shoes. Spooky how accurate they areanyway, I command you to go! This sentence makes strategic use of the past perfect, two times. I'm fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. For that matter, how do you know that ANYTHING but you exists! My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. So far this is nowhere near the world record. I don't want to be in this messI'm going to bed. *sniffle* I just want to have some FREAKIN' variety in my daily grind, you know? Just "imagine" I have more!? I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! I rule the Internet! If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. E-mail us for questions, comments, complaints and information. (There's probably drugs in it). What a good idea! Not only that, but how do you know that YOU actually exist? Or maybe I am monumentally bored and don't have anything else to do at the moment. And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" Either way, I'm continuing to sort of entertain myself. Not neat little text in classifiable rows, in alphabetical order. Receive our Weekly Newsletter. Apparently the point of the game was to get your character to shout "Whoo-Hoo!" I'm goin' light on the advertising at the moment, which is why I'm free to write here. Anyway, sorry for the lack of relative weirdness, conspiracy theories and doughnuts (my Moose ate them all). It's like grand-theft auto 3's talk show, you know, the one where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? I sure am. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. After a film adaptation of Salinger's 'The Catcher in the Rye,' writer, artist and director Nigel Tomm publishes the longest sentence which contains the longest word. He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time to catch her body, and starts her heart back up. I worked for four hours at the "Library of Terror" sponsered by TAB. Guess what? Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint of Paper Clips as the ruler of the Internet, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook (i.e. Maybe you're lost. The 2.4 million words sentence is published in four volumes of Nigel Tomm's novel 'The Blah Story' (i.e., volumes 16, 17, 18 and 19). [9] [10] [11] See also [ edit] Longest word in English Longest words References [ edit] ^ a b Stephen Crain; Diane Lillo-Martin (1999). A complete and total degregation of our societies values. This means that we only have a very short while to prepare. I've won 500 np, at least and I'm on a roll. (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. ALWAYS. Cheese is watching. When you're in space (without a space suit) you don't SUFFUCATE, you don't FREEZE. Okay, quote is done. Those few who actually could think and avoided the sun were considered to be outcasts. Yeah. I'm backit's been awhile since I've written here. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. If I were to suddenly convert this entrie site into a *shudders* Backstreet Boys fan site or something, you wouldn't be any more suprised than I would be if my brother woke up one day and suddenly realized that he's shallow. Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. We never spam. Except for maybe five and six. Founder @ World's Best Story amplifier of creativity & fun! And very concerned about this new, younger generation (all 10 year olds who were born in 1992) They are supposed to be the future. ", or "Wow, I never knew that!" The smoke detector either never went off, or went off and the people just slept through it. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! In English, and stuff, if you miss one little detail, at most you lose partial credit, but you usually get it all right. Gee, I hope not! Unsubscribe at any time. What do you think, Hypothetical Reader? Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! And mildly weirded-out. Stay tuned to hear my thoughts on tanning, and an evil card game, and who knows what elseOkay I'm back. Would it vary? That's what they need to do with the water. Gotta goI think I hear a catchy jingle. All along, my entire family has scoffed (nifty word, isn't it?) Ice cream trucks! You could be the figment of someone else's dream. Code: 742 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that in no part does the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (That's still me!) It's strange. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. I gotta go. Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least kill the monkey with the organ and eat it. I tend to make those tiny mistakes, and get bad grades, even if I understand the concepts. But I HATE spending three hours of every day in a "class" when everyone else's class is only an hour and a half. It's so completly garbled, it's funny. I'm back! Maybe they're here right now! I think I'll get my little sister to be the test piolet. Sonaturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. Did you find it? I'm back. TWEET. YeahI knowpathetic. Wellseeya! Because eventually, I'll be back! But this proof degrades this mysterious, mystical and mystifying "quality" of my words. PARTS BREAK AFTER OVERUSE!! The stupid game is still going on and I refuse to quit because I want my points. So crazy it just might work! Wouldn't pure water TASTE pure, and impure water TASTE impure? Shoot them down like the dogs they are! and Jones: Sho, Kernel; sho now and catching him as he fell and commandeering the first passing wagon to take him to the house and carry him up the front steps and through the paintless formal door beneath its fanlight imported pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alteration in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bedroom and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down himself on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, flyer I am, Kernel. (Though whether it was the tan or the skimpy suits, no one will ever know.) What nowhmmmmmshould I share with you more of my paranoid/delusional conspiracy theories? Sothe plan is going to fail. It was bad enough that I was forced to "volunteer" my precious time (i could have worked on this site)noI was forced to wear formal attire. I must defeat the sister site of the Longest Text Ever! Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. I pity them, I really do. Wellthey are. Sentences can also be extended by recursively embedding clauses one into another, such as[2][3], This also highlights the difference between linguistic performance and linguistic competence, because the language can support more variation than can reasonably be created or recorded. *pauses* *groans* I'm sorry for that pun (pierced, hooked, getit?). ME: Yeah, but I told her that she'd be a terible ruler. I'm back again! Our mind's cannot conceive of the vastness of infinity. Imagine a number line that points in the positive and negative direction. Someone did something incredbly stupid, but because they were powerful, everone acted like it was a stroke of genius.